Proper Burgers and Liquor Laws

A delicious thing to do in my gorgeous state is go to a brewery and eat. There’s a certain Utah-ness about it all sometimes though. As a lifetime local, let me explain.

Because Utah’s liquor laws are as useful as a fish with a bicycle complex, patient purveyors cannot serve a burger, a beer over 4%, and sell you a bottle of beer to take home all in the same space. Each thing can get done of course, but there can be some running around to do it. It’s just that each thing needs a different license but you can do each one separately or combine some of them but everything needs its own license or many licenses or a specific kind of license and a lot of walls in many places. And a unicorn horn and two Hydra heads.

I was researching the rules but got bored, so I decided to drink a hard-fought beer instead. Maybe a real-world example will help.

Proper is a local company that makes craft beers and also burgers, both tasty.

At Proper Burger Co., you can order draft 4% craft beer and enjoy it with your fancy hamburger.

If you’d like a fancy hamburger and something stronger or if you’d like to drink the non-draft (over 4%) bottles of craft beer, you go next door to the bar, Proper Brewing Co., and Proper Burger Co. will bring your hamburger to you.

If you want to buy Proper craft beer here to drink at home (instead of driving to a state liquor store), you have to go through a separate door in the Proper Brewing Co. building to get to the Proper Bottle Store.

Still with me? Let’s review.

You can get this burger at Proper Burger Co.

And also here at Proper Brewing Co. 

You cannot get these bottles of beer at Proper Burger Co.

You can get them at the Proper Bottle Store. And also at Proper Brewing Co. Which is connected to but totally separate from Proper Bottle Store. You cannot drink them at Proper Bottle Store. You can drink them at Proper Brewing Co.

Which is next to but a different building than and not visible from Proper Burger Co.

Which is where you can also get this burger. And also at Proper Brewing Co. Which is right next door.

Which is next to the Proper Bottle Store. Which is open on Sundays. State liquor stores are not.

You know what? Forget it.

Just call me and tell me what you want to do and I’ll tell you how.