Proper Burgers and Liquor Laws

A delicious thing to do in my gorgeous state is go to a brewery and eat. There’s a certain Utah-ness about it all sometimes though. As a lifetime local, let me explain.
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Because Utah’s liquor laws are as useful as a fish with a bicycle complex, patient purveyors cannot serve a burger, a beer over 4%, and sell you a bottle of beer to take home all in the same space. Each thing can get done of course, but there can be some running around to do it. It’s just that each thing needs a different license but you can do each one separately or combine some of them but everything needs its own license or many licenses or a specific kind of license and a lot of walls in many places. And a unicorn horn and two Hydra heads.

I was researching the rules but got bored, so I decided to drink a hard-fought beer instead. Maybe a real-world example will help.

Proper is a local company that makes craft beers and also burgers, both tasty.
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At Proper Burger Co., you can order draft 4% craft beer and enjoy it with your fancy hamburger.proper_burgers-2

If you’d like a fancy hamburger and something stronger or if you’d like to drink the non-draft (over 4%) bottles of craft beer, you go next door to the bar, Proper Brewing Co., and Proper Burger Co. will bring your hamburger to you.proper_burgers-8

If you want to buy Proper craft beer here to drink at home (instead of driving to a state liquor store), you have to go through a separate door in the Proper Brewing Co. building to get to the Proper Bottle Store.proper_burgers-10

Still with me? Let’s review.

You can get this burger at Proper Burger Co.proper_burgers-6

And also here at Proper Brewing Co. proper_burgers-11

You cannot get these bottles of beer at Proper Burger Co.proper_burgers-13

You can get them at the Proper Bottle Store. And also at Proper Brewing Co. Which is connected to but totally separate from Proper Bottle Store. You cannot drink them at Proper Bottle Store. You can drink them at Proper Brewing Co.
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Which is next to but a different building than and not visible from Proper Burger Co.
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Which is where you can also get this burger. And also at Proper Brewing Co. Which is right next door.proper_burgers-1

Which is next to the Proper Bottle Store. Which is open on Sundays. State liquor stores are not.proper_burgers-7

You know what? Forget it.

Just call me and tell me what you want to do and I’ll tell you how.

French Fries at the Boneyard

FRENCH FRIES ONLY NEED SALT STOP

THEY STAND ALONE STOP

ROSEMARY PARMESEAN GARLIC TRUFFLE OIL ETC IS A CRUTCH STOP

SERIOUSLY STOP

END TRANSMISSION

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I got these spuds at the Boneyard, which is a very popular bar/wine bar/restaurant. Or something. There are two different menus and like four different dining areas and it’s all very confusing and I like to meet people there and arrive late so they can tell me where the hell to sit.
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But it is extremely cool inside. There are a thousand and one photo ops. boneyard_fries-2

This is one of the bars. I approve of the brick, exposed ductwork, the periscope cupholder thing at the bar bar, and those studded chairs. Lovely and comfortable. Dear saloon owners: barstools need to be comfortable. If they are not, people will not linger and order more overpriced cocktails.

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And here is another bar. The wine bar maybe? It’s a little less busy than whatever other bar I was in but those turquoise chairs and black and white checkered floor just slay me. boneyard_fries-3

The menu I think we ordered off of is a bit more uppity than the gastropub concept of the twenty-aughts. Yes there is a cheese dip but it’s walnut encrusted baked brie. Yes they have a Caesar salad but it has brussels sprouts in it.

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They brew their own iced tea, which is nice. And they served me fake sugar and Sugar in the Raw, which is less nice. Sugar in the Raw is delicious and crunchy sprinkled on sugar cookies or mixed into hot coffee. But in a cold drink you may as well just throw gravel into your cup and pretend it tastes sweet. Though I stirred my iced tea five thousand times much to the dismay of my table-mates, drinking it was bitter bitter bitter bitter gritty sweet. P.S. Saloon operators: if you serve iced tea you also need to serve finer-ground sugar.boneyard_fries-7

But it is a light, fun place to have a beverage with other adults or to blow off steam after work. There are TVs with Sports! but it’s not overwhelming. Nor is the music or overall sound level. You can come have a good time, have a conversation and leave without feeling like you need to take a shower when you get home.

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The fries are perfect, but a little difficult to get. The Boneyard sells “herbed pomme frites” which are dusted with rosemary. They also sell “house-made french fries” with truffle oil and asiago. You have to ask for PLAIN DAMN FRIES. Considering the dipping sauces, I think these ended up as the Herbed Pomme Frites without the Herbed. Just be super clear, all you want are plain french fries: potatoes cut up, fried until brown, and salted.

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AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED. These are fantastic. They are exactly the same as if you cut them up at home and fried them yourself but without all the grease in the air. Delicious. Go just for a plate of these. Go for two. Two plates of plain fries and a beer please and maybe my companions are here somewhere but I can’t find them and well, they can order their own.

Whatever you’re doing, keep it simple. And do it better than everybody else.

Lola’s Street Kitchen

A fun thing I get to do is visit a lot of open houses. A LOT. Last Wednesday I clocked 47 flights of stairs on open house day. And some days the refreshments are a pile of baby carrots, and other days they are fully catered, and on special days, with a foodtruck. This is the story of such a day.

Lola's Street Kitchen 1 At the Lodges at Snake Creek open house (this is a cool project that is finishing completion in Midway, we’ll talk about this more later), they brought in Lola’s Street Kitchen to keep everybody sustained through the tour. Lola’s is a local truck out of Heber, and you can usually find them in the Dottie’s Kolaches parking lot or the Day’s Market parking lot (check their social media for updates). Despite the tendency of food trucks to cave into overly stereotypical and done-to-death recipes*, I am still a sucker for them. Continue reading “Lola’s Street Kitchen”

Being a Leafer in Park City

We are coming on that quick and gorgeous time of year when you must go enjoy the fall colors. Here are three quick and easy Instagram-bait locations to do just that.

Being a Leafer in Park City-6 1. This is Town Lift. Go here, take this picture. Grab a beer at the Bridge and eat on the deck. hashtag burgerlife.

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This is what lives under the snow of the ski bridge over Park Ave. Grass! And a sidewalk and some of the most delicious views of the mountain, the chairs and historic Old Town.

Being a Leafer in Park City-7 I just can’t get enough. Another beer please.

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2. When you’re done, drive up Royal Street. Pull over everywhere you can and breath in the mountain air.

Being a Leafer in Park City-3 Try not to sing John Denver too loudly though, unless you think there might be a moose in the bushes.

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3. Then drive over to Park City Resort‘s base area and take a gander at this junk.

Being a Leafer in Park City-9 Hello, First Time, good to see you in full colors.

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Isn’t this a ridiculous place? And we are days away from the aspens turning brilliant gold as well. hashtag whatadump

Game Night Games

I arrived, dressed in a sci-fi cartoon graphic tee and immediately knew my street cred had fizzled. Wearing a sci-fi tee and being engrossed in gaming culture are two very different things and I’ve only managed to be proficient at the former. The board game concept is nothing new of course, but there has been a hardy resurgence in recent years. Not only is getting together with other people to play games okay, it’s cool. And to play board games of the sci-fi/fantasy ilk? Ice cold and possibly with some manner of hazing ritual. Details unclear.GameNight-5

What I came in for was a cribbage board, and the minute the air conditioning whooshed by me as I opened the door I knew I was punching above my weight. Boxes filled an entire wall, alphabetized, and I arrived at the 3-D puzzles in the corner without having recognized anything. Cards Against Humanity was on the top shelf, in its unassuming black boxes, high above prying eyes. I imagine they keep plain brown paper bags behind the counter for those sales. What I came in for is a game with pegs and cards. Pegs and cards. Lord only knows where that sort of thing is kept. Past the figurines? What is a board mat? Do I need more than one? Why do they sell paint? I kept walking, pretending to be such a connoisseur that I had to inspect every shelf. Why am I not part of this world? Is the “and” in Dungeons and Dragons an ampersand? AN UNEXAMINED LIFE. Continue reading “Game Night Games”

Nice (Furniture) Package

When you’re buying homes to live in full time, you typically furnish those homes over time. You may have your grandmother’s buffet, the end tables you bought in California, the new dining room table. And as you move you buy or sell pieces to fit your needs and tastes. When you buy a vacation or investment home in a different area, odds are SO VERY GOOD that you aren’t going to bother with shipping things out to furnish it. This is why many properties in Park City are sold furnished: it’s absurd for the sellers and buyers to ship all of their furniture out or into the house, so we sell them with furniture because it’s convenient.

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Barclay Butera’s Park City showroom, please note the WALL OF FABRICS

Continue reading “Nice (Furniture) Package”

Park City Farmers Market

Every Wednesday, during and after the Open House Tour is the Park City Farmers Market. But Tour day is so tiring that I know if I go to the Farmers Market afterwards I will have zero reserve, buy All The Things and have more salad than can fit in my fridge. But, if I get a coffee around 4 PM I can finagle just enough brainpower to get in, buy some corn and get the Sam Hill out of there. For those with a less strenuous Wednesday, it’s loads of fun and you could actually do all your grocery shopping there.

Where: the parking lot at the Canyons Village of Park City Resort, Wednesdays from 12-6 PM.

What. A. Dump.
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As you can imagine, there is all manner of Farmers Market fare here. Vegetables, garden plants, cheese, popcorn, tinctures and jewelry.
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Beef tent? You got it. Fresh mozzarella and butter. Chocolate sauce. Seafood. Baked goods. You got that too.
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New game: take a shot every time you see the word “artisan.” Die tragically.
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Apparel, shirts, shoes. The hat guy probably sells out every week.
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Lobster trailer? Check. FarmersMarket-12

Local bread and wood-fired pizza food truck? Obviously.
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Tie dye tent? Of course! FarmersMarket-18

And no farmers market would be complete without an Airstream. FarmersMarket-19

Here in Park City, we do not disappoint.

(But seriously, wear sunscreen and do not play that drinking game because you will totally die.)

Parking in Park City

So this weekend is one of the many summer activities that shut down Main Street in our mountain ski town of Park City, Utah. The Independence Day parade, the Tour of Utah bike race, the Arts Festival, the weekly Park Silly Market. It’s a good time for a refresher course on how to park in Park City but full disclosure: you’re better to just Uber/taxi/bus in for the 4th. TRUST ME.

1. FREE BUS
The Park City transit system is free. F R E E. Hop on, hop off, take 10 times a day, whatever. Free. (Big selling point for property by the way, “on the bus route” is more attractive than not.) You can just send your kids/spouse/friends/self out the door and off to whatever adventure you like. Case in point: this creeper shot I took of three youth fishing enthusiasts about to get on the bus. ACTUAL fishing poles, you guys, like how great is that. Do not tell me this isn’t Mayberry because I cannot be convinced.
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Continue reading “Parking in Park City”

Emigration Market (it’s a Harmons!)

The other day I was running around Salt Lake and decided to try and find a Harmons grocery store for one of their dynamite salad bar lunches.

In .5 miles, turn left. *looking*

You have arrived. *looking frantically*

Make a U-turn. *looking back*

This is not a Harmons. Right?

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Right? How could it be the beloved traditional giant grocery store of my youth?

Continue reading “Emigration Market (it’s a Harmons!)”